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Tuesday, August 8, 2023

A Phobic Doctor Relative part-2

 Continuing from my previous post:


(Previously, I shared a one-sided correspondence from a phobic relative directed towards me. Now, I'm unveiling another layer of correspondence that I stumbled upon later. This exchange involved the same phobic relative, who was bent on exacerbating my mental distress and interfering with my diagnosis. Their intention was to manipulate my grandparents into doubting the validity of my situation.)


In an unexpected turn of events, I found myself entangled in a series of interactions that unraveled the lengths to which this phobic relative would go to harm my mental well-being. Their attempts to undermine my struggles were evident in the messages they shared with my grandparents. It was disheartening to witness the extent of their efforts to negate my identity and experiences.


They referenced an article, "https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5845076/," attempting to draw a link between my condition and various aspects, including gender dysphoria. However, upon careful examination, it became evident that this source held no relevance to my situation, further debunking any correlation to schizophrenia or related concerns.


One message from them stood out: "First rule out schizophrenia before undergoing permanent body transformation." Their implication was clear - they insinuated that my decision to embrace my true self and undergo gender-affirming changes was rash and ill-considered. Yet, their assertions fell flat in the face of comprehensive medical evaluations, which confirmed that my choices were grounded in a well-informed understanding of my identity.


They even went so far as to belittle my journey by stating, "He is playing and experimenting with his body." Astonishingly, their words reduced the profound process of self-discovery and acceptance to mere "play." This remark highlighted their blatant disregard for the emotional complexity that accompanies such a significant life transformation.


Their attempt to substantiate their case took the form of an enumeration of traits: "At risk - Mother-father with history of addiction, alcohol, smoking, physical abuse. After birth - Delayed speech, decreased social interaction, gadget addiction, grandeur behavior, learning issues, lack of attention or focus, body distortion, lack of self...bodily image, lack of goal-oriented behavior, lack of motivation." Their aim was clear: to amplify my alleged psychological vulnerabilities. However, this analysis crumbled upon closer scrutiny.


For instance, they used the phrase "at risk" to accentuate the influence of my parents' history, implying that I was predisposed to my challenges. But their attempt to magnify these risks only oversimplified the complex interplay of factors that contribute to an individual's development. Similarly, the mention of delayed speech and decreased social interaction overlooked the profound impact of my suppressed identity during my formative years.


Their assertions continued with accusations like "panic disorder," "lack of respect for social hierarchy order," and "lack of emotion even when mother died." These labels painted an incomplete picture of my experiences. The panic disorder I faced stemmed from the emotional turmoil caused by my dysphoria, a reality they conveniently overlooked. Their claim of "lack of respect for social hierarchy order" echoed the traditional, restrictive norms that I refuse to endorse.


The mention of my seemingly stoic reaction to my mother's passing disregarded the complex emotional journey I was navigating. Their failure to acknowledge the pain I felt at losing a confidante who promised to support my journey further exposed their lack of empathy.


They appended to their accusations by pointing out my supposed "low physical exercise" and the risk of "harming his body." However, their understanding was flawed. My detachment from my physical self was a direct result of my struggle with identity, not an indifference to my well-being. Their claim of self-harm risk failed to grasp the positive impact that hormone therapy (HRT) was having on me.


They alleged that my "attention-seeking behavior on social media" was the driving force behind my actions. This insinuation reduced my honest attempts at self-expression to mere attention-grabbing antics. They invalidated my courage in sharing my journey openly.


The culmination of their attempts was encapsulated in a comment from my grandfather: "Can you see what I see? It is a cluster of symptoms." Unfortunately, their perspective clouded their judgment. Rather than recognizing the authenticity of my experiences, they chose to label them as symptoms. Their outlook, influenced by prejudice, eroded any semblance of a balanced evaluation.


They further delved into my family history, painting my mother as a person with "high-risk behavior" and an inclination to "experiment with her body." Their portrayal was reductionist, ignoring the complex nature of personal growth and exploration. The mention of her "accidental death" and inability to "fit into society" failed to capture her essence or the broader social dynamics at play.


Ultimately, their attempt to manipulate the narrative was evident when they stated, "If you didn't tell these points, they will wrongly diagnose." Their intention was transparent: to influence my diagnosis by presenting a distorted version of events. However, the comprehensive counseling process had already covered many of these points, rendering their strategy ineffective.


In a desperate attempt to lend credibility to their stance, they shared an article, "https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165178121005679," which discussed psychosis in transgender individuals. Yet, this citation held no relevance to my situation, further emphasizing their lack of understanding.


Their accusation of "childhood behavioral issues - anger, etc." attempted to oversimplify the complex emotional turmoil I faced as a result of grappling with my identity.


Concluding their correspondence, they highlighted my grandfather's skepticism and urged a reevaluation of my diagnosis. This ongoing effort to delegitimize my experience, merely because I came out as a girl, was a painful reminder of the LGBQTIA+ phobia that persists in certain circles.


In essence, this correspondence was a disturbing reflection of the lengths to which prejudice can distort perception and perpetuate discrimination. It's a reminder that even as societal attitudes evolve, there remains a pressing need to challenge such biases and advocate for understanding and acceptance.